Prologue- events leading up to the accident."

It was just one of those chance meetings, a natural reaction that made him reach out for her. The sun was brighter and it was warmer now. He stepped out of the Westin Hotel doors onto Huntington Avenue. He took out his sunglasses from his pocket, glad to be able to use them finally. It had been a long winter and at last the cold had broken. It seemed everyone around him was relieved as well; the square in front of Trinity Church was filled with people. Some were sunbathing, and one group even had a Frisbee. Others were soaking their feet in the fountain, dress pants rolled to their knees. He took a sip of his coffee and decided to join this throng of spring worshipers. His name was Mathew Norton. He had been a ward of the state until he turned 18, now he was university student in Boston. His friends, the few people he actually liked, pitied him, though they never said it out loud. Matt was aware of this, and couldn’t blame them. He knew nothing of his past, who his parents were or when his birthday was. If it taught him anything, it was that he could rely on no one but himself. He had pulled himself out of the trenches by his own bootstraps and was responsible for his welfare. He was a firm believer in making his own destiny. His best friend Marissa called him a ‘victim of fate’. Matt laughed when she said this. “Fate” he had said, “is something for little girls and Tolkien fans, and hopeless romantics, in other words, not me.” But all that would change when he touched her hand.

The scene was a flurry of blond hair and books as she tripped in front of him down the steps of the public library. Papers floated down around them as she righted herself and smoothed her hair.
“ Smooth move, Luca.” She chided herself. She looked up at him as she pulled strands of wayward hair from her mouth. “Thanks.” She smiled at him and bent down to collect her errant pages. Matt grabbed at the pages by his foot and handed them over to her.
“ Thanks again. Oh… your shirt!” she said pointing to the large swath of coffee down his front.
“ Eh, oh! Oh well it’s just a shirt, that’s what they make washing machines for…” he winced, that’s what they make washing machines for? What the hell was that? He thought to himself.
“ Still, I’m really sorry! Maybe I can replace it? I mean you did save me from making a complete jackass of myself.”
“ No, no. That’s ok.”
“ Well, how about I buy you a new cup of coffee?” she offered. Matt looked at her; she was cute, a little shorter then him, but not by much. Stylishly thin and well dressed. Maybe he should have taken her up on the shirt, she probably could have afforded it.
“ A new cup would be great.”
They took a seat outside the Starbucks on Newbury Street, even though they had passed three others on the short walk up there. One of the perks of living in a city is that there is a Starbucks on every corner.
“ So do you make it a habit to hang outside the Library? Just in case someone falls?” She asked taking the top of her cup and blowing across the top and then dumping 5 packs of sugar. That kind of coffee abuse usually drove Matt nuts, but when she did it, it was somehow endearing.
“ Why, don’t I strike you as the heroic type?”
“ Do you really want me to answer that?”
“ I see you’re learned in the ways of sarcasm.”
“ I grew up around subjects of sarcasm and my father is their king.” She said smiling. “Seriously though,” she continued “it was lucky for me that you were there. It’s these new shoes. Very pretty, not particularly sensible. If you hadn’t caught me I’d probably be drinking chicken dinner smoothies through wired teeth.”
“ It was nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done.” He cleared his throat. Have to think of something fast or there’ll be an uncomfortable silence…think, think…
…And there it is….
“ So you go to school around here?” He asked, brilliant, what next ‘what’s your major?’
“ Actually, I did but I’m taking the semester off. I had thought of going to Europe with my friends but my hair drier wouldn’t work over there, you know, weird outlets.” He stared at her blankly. “Ok, that was a bad joke…I apologize.” She said throwing up her hands.
“ We’re even now.” Matt smiled back. They watched as more spring worshipers walked down the street window-shopping. Music spilled out of the record shop next to them. Once, the location had developed somewhat of a cult following years. But that store closed and was replaced by the bastardized mega-mart kind. The kind that sells you everything you could possibly want, video games, comic books novels, obscure magazines from Japan and France, urban décor, books, DVDs and somewhere, hiding in the corner fearing for their lives, were CDs. It seemed now to attract more yuppies than the punk element and somewhere out there, was a very happy billionaire.
Dusting herself off as she stood, she collected her wrappers and capped her coffee. “Well it was very nice to meet you but I need to get going. Thanks again.” She said extending her hand. Matt nodded and shook her hand. She stared to walk away. She’s leaving you idiot! He thought. He got up and ran after her.
“ Hey…” he jogged up to her side. “So I was thinking it might not be safe. You know for your shoes.”
“ All this concern for my footwear, I’m touched.”
“ What can I say, I’m a caring guy. Maybe I could just walk you to where ever it is that you’re going.”
“ It’s a trek, are you sure?”
“ Sure, Boston is the ‘walking city’ after all.”
“ Ok then.” She passed off her papers and books to him and slung her bag back onto her shoulder.

 

They walked through the commons; more spring worshipers, all though the range of activity seemed to dwindle despite the open space.
“ So tell me about yourself.” She said
“ Not much to tell really.”
“ Oh come on. Anything? Family?”
“ No, not unless you count my friends…all two of them.”
“ Why only two?”
“ I’m kinda picky about who I let in. I can’t stand the looks on people’s faces when I tell them I’m an orphan.” He looked up from his feet to her. A look of pity flashed across her face, then the color drained a little. “See, that’s the look. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“ You’re an orphan?” Her eyebrows knitted together, and she kind off squinted, creating a look he couldn’t define. It was like she was trying to see him in the dark.
“ Its not like I have leprosy, geez, loads of people don’t know their birth parents.”
“ I know.” She said at last. “I’m one of them. Only I was adopted and I lucked out that he was so nice.” She was quiet again as they walked past the large cement hollow that in the summer would be a wading pond. “Do you ever have the feeling that this isn’t what you were meant for?”
“ I don’t follow.” Although he knew exactly what she meant, he would never admit that to himself.
“ I just mean who knows what our lives could have been like.” She said reading his indignation “That’s all.” She stopped suddenly. “Well we’re here.”
Matt looked up at the big golden domed of the Capital building. He hadn’t even noticed that they had walked clear through both parks.
“ What, you work here?”
“ Ha! No, I’m just helping out my dad. Thanks for …everything today. I had fun.”
“ Maybe we could meet up again sometime?”
“ Sure, give me your hand.” She took out a felt tip pen from her bag and wrote her number on his hand. “Guard it with your life.” She walked through the gate pausing only flash her visitor’s pass at the guards and then up the stairs she went. Matt smiled as he watched her, and then promptly smacked his forehead. He forgot to ask her something important.
“ Hey wait!” She turned around and looked at him
“ Yeah?” She yelled to him
“ You didn’t tell me your name!” he yelled cupping his hands around his mouth.
“ It’s Luca, Luca Fellman!” And with that, she disappeared through the front doors.
“ Fellman…” He mulled it over as he walked down the street, past the Beacon Hill houses. Where had he heard that name before? Then it dawned on him as he looked back at the dome. “She’s a senator’s daughter… you sure can pick’em Matt.”

A week later he was still skewing up the courage to call her. He dialed her number, got half way through then hung up. Thoughts like ‘She’s the senator’s daughter.’ and ‘what can you offer her in your Brighton apartment one size down from a shoe box.’ floated through his head. Ultimately, it was his curiosity that won out.
“ Please be the machine, please be the machine.”
“ Hi! You’ve reached my cell phone…”
“ Yes!”
“… and I’m assuming if you have this number you’re someone I want to talk to, so leave me a message.”
“ Hi, um, Luca, it’s Matt, you know they guy you spilled coffee on when I saved you from your shoes? Anyway I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out for more coffee or I don’t know, we could be conformists and try dinner, other people seem to enjoy it so why not us, right? Anyway give me a call sometime ok? Talk to you later.” He hung up the phone. That could have gone worse, he tried to convince himself. He started to walk away from the phone when it occurred to him that she didn’t have his number. He was about to call back when the phone rang in his hand.
“ Hello?”
“ Hi.”
“ Luca?”
“ Good guess. Before you ask I have caller ID.”
“ Oh, good. I wasn’t sure if you had the Fed’s watching me.” He said half joking.
“ Nah, they don’t do personal favors anymore.” She laughed. “So dinner sounds good, but it’s a little early. I have a better idea.”

Avalon


The horizon bobbed up and down before him, wind whipped around his head as they stood on the docks. The motion would have made anyone else a little queasy but not Matt. He had earned his sea legs. When he was 12, he was taken in by one of his nicer foster parents, a fisherman in Hyannis. Dennis Marby had taught him how to repair nets, about lobster traps, and how to tell if it would rain just by smelling the air. He’d spent three years with Marby, and he had even put in for adoption. The state, however, thought he was too old, and they were right; Marby had a heart attack one night and died on the way to the hospital. Now the water made him hurt just a little, even after all these years.
“ Penny for your thoughts.” Said Luca as she pulled the knot securing the boat to the dock.
“ What? Oh …deep stuff, you know, Hemingway and all that.”
“ Right, ‘The old man and the sea’?”
“ The what?”
“ Never mind, could you get that line there?” she laughed. They untied the boat and pushed off. It was a small boat, compared to the Titanic, Matt reckoned. It would have done well in a race when manned by 3 more people. The boat had a black bottom and a red band around the hull and she had the name LUCA. Luca must have seen him looking at it, because then she called out to him.
“ My dad’s a softy. Apple of his eye.”
Matt started the on board motor to pilot them out of the harbor. The water was calm and the sky was clear, and as they exited the shelter of the harbor, a strong wind picked up. Perfect for sailing, thought Matt, dreading the conversation that he knew was emanate.

After about an hour they were pretty far out. They could just barely see the shoreline.
“ I think we should turn around now.” Said Luca, starting to get nervous. If it were up to Matt they’d keep going to England. He and Marby used to sleep on the boat and wake up at the crack of dawn to haul in the traps. But he became suddenly aware of her inexperience and therefore, empathized with her need to be near to shore.
“ Ok, could you pull the line taught so the sail pivots to port?”
“ What?”
“ Make the sail go to the right.”
“ Oh, yeah, why didn’t you just say so?”
“ Have you ever been on this boat?”
“ Yeah, loads of times, but Dad and Captain Turner are always driving.” Driving? He mouths silently, but decides to let it go.
“ So what made you think this was a good idea?” he said towing in the line.
“ I don’t know, something told me you knew how.”
“ Ah-huh…. Good thinking.”
“ Are you making fun of me again?” Letting go of the sail, she sat back and folded her arms.
“ Hey, hey! What are you doing? The sail!”
“ I’m not touching that rope until you apologize.”
“ Ok, fine I’m sorry you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“ Nice. You’ve had sensitivity training, haven’t you?” Matt dropped his head on his knees. Just pick up the rope, he thought. The last four months had been filled with conversations with similar tones. The words came to his lips but he backed down once more.
“ Ok…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I insulted you.”
“ Thank you.” At this, Luca leaned forward and pulled the line. Just as they started to turn towards shore the wind died.
“ What happened?”
“ It’s ok, it’ll pick up again.” They waited, and for twenty minutes of silence, nothing. Fed up, Matt lowered the sail and went to turn on the motor. It wouldn’t start. He checked the gauge on the side.
“ Crap, Crap, CRAP!” he said sitting back down “I should have checked that…”
“ What?” She asked looking at him wide eyed.
“ There’s no gas in the motor.” He said rubbing his face.
“ So what, we’re stuck?”
“ Yeah until the wind picks up.”
“ Great, just great. Now my father will defiantly know that we took the boat out.”
“ You didn’t tell him?”
“ No. But he’ll certainly find out when the coast guard calls him to tell him we were stranded.”
“ I don’t think we’re as bad as that yet. You’re just being dramatic again.” He took a deep breath. Since they were stuck out here, now was as good a time as any to bring this up.

“Luca we need to talk.” Something in Matt’s tone made the bottom of her stomach drop. She knew this was coming. They had been fighting a lot. Mostly instigated by her, but she kept swallowing it down and hoping it would go away. It became clear now it wouldn’t.
“ Oh.” She said and hunkered down. “Yeah I guess we do.”
“ You know we’ve been having a lot of trouble lately and the last conversation we had… well we both said some things that have made me think.” Luca nodded in agreement. He was leaving town for good and it was forcing them to evaluate everything. Luca discovered how she was really feeling and laid it all out for him. She felt that he was already gone in his head and she couldn’t understand it.

“Do you want to see me?” She had asked.
“ You know I do.”
“ Do I? You don’t ask to see me anymore or reach for me at all. You’re not gone yet you know.”
“ Yes I do know that, but I can’t keep reassuring you that I’m not avoiding you.” How ‘bout you assure me the first time, she thought to herself. She sat silently on the phone.
“ Knowing how you feel about your actions showing me your love, knowing that about you, how do you think it makes me feel when you wont touch me, when I have to ask for contact?”
“ Look it’s late and I have a headache, I’ll call you tomorrow. This was really crappy, the way you went about it was crappy. Goodbye.” She muttered goodbye and they hung up. She spent the rest of the night feeling like a heel, but she wasn’t making this up, she wasn’t imagining things.

“It shouldn’t be this hard.” He said snapping her back to reality. She stared out at the ocean.
“ No, it shouldn’t.” She conceded. She hung her head and dreaded the words that would come next.
“ I think we should just stop now.” The words cut through her like a blade, but they came from her lips... Fighting back the tears she nodded, and opened her eyes and returned her gaze to the ocean. And then she saw it.

Matt’s resolve softened a bit.
“ We still love each other, we can build on that, I still want to see you.” He offered but she wasn’t listening to him anymore. Her expression was one of complete shock; all the color had drained away. A shadow was creeping up the front of her life jacket and up her neck. Matt turned to see what she was looking at.

A Tidal wave was careening towards them. He hadn’t noticed the sky behind them. It had turned almost pitch black, thick with clouds and pockets of lightning that jumped from cloud to cloud. It was almost unnatural. The wave seemed to be gaining speed and height as it came closer. The swell started to pull the boat towards it. They were going to be crushed, thought Matt. He pulled Luca towards him; he had to protect her, everything else drained away.
“ Matt…” she whimpered next to him, suddenly seeming so small. As the wave crested and started to come down on them he threw himself on top of her. Water and sea foam crashed down around them and he felt them begin pulling them away from the deck, they were now totally submerged in the cold waters. He held on to her with all of his strength, she was limp in his arms. They were pushed and pulled in the swirling water and sucked into the undertow. He couldn’t distinguish the surface anymore, as they were forced downward. He looked at Luca, he had to get up to the surface soon, he couldn’t hold his breath anymore, but he was so confused as to which way was up. Another swell passed over them and Matt grimaced as the waters started to pull again. Suddenly Luca was sucked from his grasp. He tired to hold on but as her fingers disappeared from view his head hit the side of the waterlogged boat and everything went black.

 

Updated December 2005